I wanted to build on last week’s piece on embodiment while keeping with the same format. This week, I wanted to spend some time unloading the motherload. I want to be clear that this is not a topic just for women who have children, but rather highlights that women often are in caregiving, nurturing, and planning roles in many different aspects of their lives. Often, women find themselves juggling the heaviest load—the motherload. This relentless bundle of responsibilities can leave us feeling overwhelmed. So, what does the motherload look like, feel like, and sound like in everyday life? Let's dive into it and explore how we can counter its weight with some practical strategies.
What Does the Motherload Look Like?
The motherload doesn't have a uniform appearance, but it's visible in the endless to-do lists, both mental and written. It's seen in the colour coded schedules and the multitasking madness. It's the expectation that women should carry the brunt of household chores, child-rearing, and often, emotional labor. Oh, and meanwhile, make it look effortless, never complain, an also show in a similar role in the workplaces. How else can it look?
- In the workplace: The motherload might look like striving to balance work and home, often feeling like you're not meeting expectations in either role.
- As a mother: It's the relentless day-to-day tasks of cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing, with the added weight of societal expectations and comparisons.
- As an empowered woman: It's the feeling of trying to do it all, even when you know it's unrealistic and unsustainable.
What Does the Motherload Feel Like?
The motherload feels like exhaustion and overwhelm. It's the weight of carrying the mental and physical burdens of a household while navigating work or personal ambitions. It's a constant tug-of-war between responsibility and self-care.
- In the workplace: It feels like the pressure to excel while rushing home to handle the second shift of motherhood.
- As a mother: It's the guilt of never doing enough, even when you're doing more than your fair share.
- As an empowered woman: It feels like a constant race with no finish line, and it can lead to burnout.
What Does the Motherload Sound Like?
The motherload sounds like an internal monologue of tasks and worries. It's the never-ending list of things to do, the concerns about whether you're doing them right, and the frustration of not having enough time for yourself.
- In the workplace: It sounds like the endless mental checklist of meetings, deadlines, and school pickups.
- As a mother: It's the nagging voice that questions if you're doing enough for your family, your children, or your partner.
- As an empowered woman: It's the internal dialogue that tells you to keep pushing, even when you're drained.
How Can You Counter the Motherload?
1. Say 'No' More Often: Embrace the power of 'no.' It's a complete sentence. Politely decline tasks and commitments that overwhelm you. This includes your children, your colleagues, and even with yourself. Start trusting yourself in knowing what you need. Again, wisdom from my friend Adrianne, but pay attention to wha a no feels like in your body.
2. Delegate Like a Boss: You don't have to do it all. Delegate tasks at home and work, and don't micromanage the process. Trust others to handle things. Ideally, I want to transform this statement so we can start saying to delegate LIKE A MOTHER.
3. Embrace Imperfection:It's okay if your home isn't spotless or dinner isn't gourmet every night. Be kind to yourself. We all of strengths and we all have challenges. Start worrying about your own needs rather than what you think others expect of you. When we fixate on the stories we tell ourselves, we are living little room for the grace required to live imperfectly. Remember, the magic of life is found in the messy middle.
4. Schedule 'Me Time': Block out time in your schedule for self-care. Treat it as a non-negotiable appointment with yourself. This can mean anything that matters to YOU. Do not judge yourself on your needs, give yourself permission to be honest with what that is and book it in.
5. Lean on Your Support System: Don't hesitate to ask for help when needed. Whether it's from family, friends, or colleagues, lean on your support network. I suck at asking for help but what I know is that when I do, I never regret it. Let those who love you experience the joy of loving on you.
6. Small Wins, Big Celebrations: Celebrate even the tiniest victories. You will notice that this is a theme in the past few newsletters. Stop with the humility in your own life. You deserve to celebrate yourself and I hope you are surrounded by people while will celebrate with you. Know that if you need extra hype, we are here. Every win worth acknowledging.
7. Embrace Your Unique Path: Your path is unique, and it's perfectly okay if it doesn't look like anyone else's. We know it is natural to compare, that is okay. But while comparing, practice self compassion and remind yourself that what you are doing is enough (ie. MORE than enough)
Unloading the motherload is an act of self-love and empowerment. Remember, you don't have to do it all alone. It's okay to lean on your support network and make self-care a priority. The motherload may be a part of life, but you have the power to decide how much of it you carry. My challenge to you this week is offload something, anything. Start small, start easy, but simply, start.
~Lisa
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