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My Unapologetic Era

Have you ever paid attention to all of the things that you apologize for in the run of a day? I am going to challenge you to spend one day (or one week) taking inventory on all of the things you are apologizing for. There are countless reasons that we do this, and at the bottom of the list is the excuse that we are being polite. I am so TIRED of being polite. Actually, I am tired of being TOLD to be polite. Instead, it’s time to centre ourselves in kindness, rip out the page of life that tells us to be polite and stop with the chronic apologizing. Why? Because if we truly want to show up authentically in this world, then we need to start owning the space that is ours.

So many of us tip toe around and doing what we can to ensure we are not disrupting the ecosystems we are walking through. We shrink ourselves to remain unnoticed and continually play a supporting role in the success of those we fan the flames for. It’s time to stop this. It’s time to speak up and risk being wrong rather than our brilliance being whispered and lost in the wind. I know that a lot of this can feel overwhelming and truth be told, radical. That’s because it is. Change and resistance to the way things are done doesn’t happen without big, brave, bold moves. And do you know what? One of these things can be the radical act of no longer apologizing for the things you are not sorry for.

So, in my radical act of disrupting systems and my unapologetic era, these are the things that I am no longer apologizing for:

  • I am no longer apologizing for asking questions. I deserve to understand. I deserve to have all the information before I give out my yes’s and no’s. If you cannot give me the time to help me better understand, I cannot give you my time for something I do not understand.

  • I am no longer apologizing for my RSVP. My time is finite. As I edge closer to 40, I am learning that I just do not have time to do it all. This means that I can do some things but not all things. It will also mean that I have given myself permission to so no, without apologies.

  • I am no longer apologizing for my needs and expressing them. When asked how someone can be of help, I am going to start answering and asking.

  • I am no longer apologizing for my responses, especially when asked for my opinion.

  • I am no longer apologizing for taking the time and space I need. We are so accustomed to being available 24/7 that when we take a hot minute to ourselves, we apologize. “Oh sorry, I was just in the washroom changing my diva cup and I missed your text”, “oh sorry I did not get back to you, I have been up all night with two sick kids so I missed you asking me questions that google had the answer to”, “oh sorry, did you need me? No problem, I didn’t want to enjoy a meal with my family”, and the list goes on.

  • I am no longer apologizing for taking up space; in my home, in my work place, and most importantly in my body.

It is time to size up and live large, unapologetically.



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