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Writer's pictureJoy Laughren

I Have Lost all my F*CKs



“I have lost my f*cks.” How my best friend responded when I asked how she was doing. I laughed! It wasn’t the typically “I’m good” I was expecting. It was funny and shocking! Who says this? The shock value wore off, and as the phrase sunk in I couldn't help but to nod; it resonated with me. As we discussed our current situations and vibes it became more and more obvious that many people in our lives, us included, give more than our share on a regular basis. It becomes normal for our tiredness to be bordering on exhaustion, and when we show our exhaustion others can become offended instead of supportive.

We have normalized giving 110% and in turn normalized exhaustion. But lucky for us, when you’re exhausted it’s easiest to lose your f*cks and simplify your calendar/ to do list.


How to Lose your F*cks.

  1. Run out of town and build a self-sustaining commune. (Although, I’m not serious, this fantasy has been mentioned for years inside the walls of my home.) Wouldn’t it be amazing to have everything you really need at your fingertips, and not have to work against societal pressures for more more more.

  2. Consider your motives. It’s been about 3 years since I completely boycotted floor washing. I lost that f*ck. I sweep and vaccume but I dont give a f*ck about the weird sweat footprints that show up when the sun hits just right. I realized I was washing the floor for other people, and when I realized that it was really easy to quit!

  3. Reassess your intentions. My oldest child is obviously mine, we are both equally unathletic. We like people and so like team sports, but we are not going to be olympic gymnasts. So it has been an easy decision for me to not put her in 3 days a week classes. She plays community soccer, because it fits into the lifestyle my family wants.

  4. Prioritize Rest. Often the world has us filling our calendars with events and ignoring the task of Rest. I’m specifically thinking of the intentional Act of Resting. I don’t mean mindlessly scrolling (although sometimes that is a nice way to mentally reset ourselves). But real Rest, it can be the kind when you sit with people who make you feel good inside. Real Rest doesn’t have a dress code, or obligations, it's simple and it’s whatever fills your soul up.


Some things we still need to care about, like ensuring we have something to eat today and that the lights will turn on tomorrow. However, so many things are optional that we pretend are necessary. I challenge you to look at the things busying you and ask yourself. Do I give a f*ck about this? And if you do, then please Carry On! And if not, Lose that F*ck.

Meet Joy Laughren. She said to keep it simple, so I will oblige. But what I will say is you can learn more about her by visiting her etsy shop or following her on IG @birthdaybox.yxe


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