She may not love that I am writing this, but, too bad. Here's the thing, growing older is such a privilege as is celebrating the people we love. I have always been big on birthdays, and I always will be. When I say big, I do not mean extravagance (that is cool too), but I am referring to the commitment to honouring these special days. I have always felt like a birthday is a built in opportunity to reflect on the year that has passed while looking towards the upcoming year
Back when I would facilitate grief groups on the regular (when I lived in Regina), one of my greatest mentors would use an evaluation after each session called "Finders, Keepers, Losers, Weepers" and it is something that I use in so many facets of my life, but especially when I look reflect on another year gone by. I want to share it with you:
Finders- what have you learned (and unlearned) this past year? About yourself? Above others? What were your greatest surprises? The diamond in the rough- the friendship you stumbled upon? The great book that changed your outlook on how you approach something? That decision you made that has made a significant impact? What did you learn?
Keepers- tell me about what you are going to hold onto? What is that inner knowing you will keep close by that you will lean into? What are the moments that sprinkled through this last year that added joy? Who are the people that showed up in ways you didn't even know you needed?
Losers- what are you going to let go of? What can you leave behind? What are those self limiting beliefs that you no longer have time for? Who are the relationships that no longer serve you or the accounts that you can just unfollow? What can you let go of?
Weepers- what are the moments that impacted you the most? They are both big and small but that find their way into your soul and stay there. What was the movie you saw for the first time or rewatched for the 70th time that just reminds you all is okay in the world? What is the change you made and the actions you took to leave this world better today than you did yesterday?
So with that, I want to say happiest of birthdays Deena. Thank you for colouring my world (and so many others) through fashion, hype, and unconditional adoration. As you head into your Retirement Era (and yes, while I know you would have preferred the latest album to be Britney, Taylor Swift saved her release date for you), I wanted to share my own Finders, Keepers, Losers, Weepers but all things Deena. Friends, I will leave you with this:
Finders- This last year I have learned (because you taught me) about the power of trusting the timing of our life and always, always listening to what we need over what other's want. This ranges from leading a business, to wearing more pink, to rocking the crop top, to closing the store. You showed us all that the decision we make is always the right one, because we made it.
Keepers- The community you have built is filled with keepers. You have curated kindness and belonging for all of us and I promise to always find ways to pay that forward. There is not an event or an outing we show up to that does not have a friend from the store or an outfit that can open the circle and the conversation. Thank you for being a bridge for what is often just an island of us misfits!
Losers- So many self limiting beliefs are GONE because of you. I experienced what being comfortable in our body can actually feel like for the first time in a long time. This freedom is something that I will never have enough words for and will never take for granted. You taught me how to take the frustrations of where I am at and turn that into the beauty of what is. Before and After Photos are only meant for Before Deena and After Deena. The glow up is 5 star.
Weepers- You, my friend, are loved. Thank you for being the voice of bougie, the calm in crisis, the solution to any "wtf am I going to wear", and always the cherry on top of what could feel like a mediocre moment. Basically, you are the glitter and the glue, and unapologetically so.
Happy Birthday, Deena!
Lisa
xo
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